The Regular

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Another week, another Friday Fictioneers challenge!
This week Rochelle gave us the above photo prompt, the credit for which by the way goes to Ted.

They had put the bottles, well whatever was still remaining of the bottles, back onto the shelves.

The small and big lights were glittering here and there reflecting in the mirrors cautiously put above cracks on the walls.

Everything had been restored to perfection.

The earthquake had shaken everything away from the bar, even customers.

And they expected that she would have decided to leave all the same.

But as soon as the sign outside turned green, the first person to come sit behind the counter was her grainy form.

And now for the explanation which is absolutely necessary here. She’s a ghost who’s a regular at the bar. I really think it was necessary this time!

© 2013 Ankita Kala

38 Comments Add yours

  1. pirate says:

    A nice angle – and relevant story!

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you! 🙂

      Like

  2. would be the first to return tho regulars are steadfast
    Nice take on the picture – I thought of a ghost when I saw her too

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  3. Dear Moondust,
    Intriguing story.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you Rochelle! Glad you found it intriguing 🙂

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  4. Nice. I guess even ghosts want somewhere they can hang out and be comfortable. I thought the line “grainy form” made it pretty clear she was a ghost though.

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    1. Ankita says:

      Yes, i guess so too. Some kind of ghost bars! 😉
      Thank you 🙂

      Like

  5. Joe Owens says:

    Wow two stories in a row with deep under meanings. I cannot help but reference this as a second kind of “regular” haunt! Very nice story Ankita!

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    1. Ankita says:

      Hahahah.. Wow Joe! Thank you so so much 🙂 You made my day! 🙂

      Like

  6. zennjennc says:

    Great ghost story!

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you so much! 🙂

      Like

  7. Ankita, I agree with David that “grainy form” led us to believe she was a ghost. I liked the line about shaking the customers away. Good job.

    You might also put something between the end of your story and your explanation just to make it clearer where the story ends.

    janet

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    1. Ankita says:

      Hey Janet,

      You guys are right! I hadn’t figured out it would be that strong a literary device! I stand corrected 🙂
      I’ve made the explanation a little slanted now. It was indeed looking like a part of the story.
      It’s so good to have you around and help me improve! Thanks 🙂 😀
      Ankita

      Like

  8. paulmclem says:

    I wouldn’t explain the story unless asked. Have faith people will get it. If some don’t then that’s life.

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    1. Ankita says:

      Hahahah! You got me intrigued now! Yes, they ought to get it. I’ll keep this in mind now onwards 🙂

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  9. Penny L Howe says:

    Well done. I enjoyed reading your story. It was clever and to me, you did convey that she was an ethereal presence. 🙂

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thanks a lot Penny! 🙂 Your comment put a BIG smile on my face 😀

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  10. Ah that grainy form… great one.

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you! Thank you so much! 😀

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  11. I think I would leave out the explanation. Give your readers more credit and yourself as well.

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    1. Ankita says:

      I’ve decided to do that now. Going by the response, I think it’d be the best to do. Thank you for the reassurance! 🙂

      Like

  12. kz says:

    so she’s a little hard to shake ^^ great unique take.

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    1. Ankita says:

      Hehehe.. Yes she is, what with all the dead weight 😉 🙂

      Like

  13. Agree with above comments. If you need an explanation then your story has failed. And it didn’t!

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    1. Ankita says:

      I guess I really need to leave the explanation part aside now! D

      Like

  14. Mystikel says:

    I got that she was a ghost. I also like the description of her form as “grainy”. The choice of that word made you pause and imagine how she appeared because while grainy is a great way to describe a ghost it’s not one of those typical descriptions that the eye would have glided right over. Great job!

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you so much Mystikel! Your comment has made me realise the value of a carefully chosen word! Thank you for visiting and commenting! 🙂

      Like

  15. Lily Mugford says:

    good imagination, And seems fitting, this bar looks like it should have a ghost or two.

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    1. Ankita says:

      Thanks Lily! I’m glad you visited and commented. Hehe.. Yes, this bar has that ‘aura’ 🙂

      Like

  16. Some people you just can’t get rid of. Spooky.

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    1. Ankita says:

      Yeah.. Glad you stopped by to read! 🙂

      Like

  17. Linda Vernon says:

    Oh that’s interesting. I took the same thing away from this picture. That the girl behind the bar was a ghost. I like the way you made her killed in an earthquake, which would explain the haunting! I like your imaginative take. 😀

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thanks Linda! I’m glad you liked this! 🙂

      Like

  18. neenslewy says:

    I would have got it without the explanation – great idea about the earthquake, interesting take on the photograph.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thanks a lot! 🙂 Glad you read and liked it! 🙂

      Like

  19. julespaige says:

    It really did take me reading others stories to even realize she was there. A perfect ghost 🙂
    Nicely done.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you 🙂 Hehe. We sure did scare you! 😉

      Like

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