Interiors

home-made_car

Photo credit Beth Carter

She was lying face-down behind the front seats of the dilapidated car.

The seats’ backside was shorn down to steel railings covered with rust which kept bumping into her as the car moved.

The tyre kept on the other side adding to her feeling of being crushed.

She lifted her head slightly to see that the kidnapper had gone out of the car, leaving his cap on the passenger seat, his goggles hanging on what could be called a dashboard had it been in a normal car.

And the only thing she could think was – Is this vehicle going to survive this kidnapping?

Β© 2013 Ankita Kala

38 Comments Add yours

  1. kz says:

    hahaha awesome last line πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      πŸ˜€ πŸ˜›
      If I were in her situation i’d be more scared of dying in an accident than the kidnapper’s bullet! πŸ˜‰

      Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you πŸ™‚

      Like

  2. Sandra says:

    Very funny, and original. πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thanks a lot! πŸ™‚

      Like

  3. That last line made me laugh: the victim worrying about the car. πŸ™‚

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    1. Ankita says:

      She was afraid about her own safety too πŸ˜‰ πŸ™‚

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      1. Well yeah, but usually the car is the least dangerous thing in the equation.

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      2. Ankita says:

        That goes on to show what kind of a person she was! πŸ™‚

        Like

  4. Hahaha…. She’s a survivor that one. Being able to be so objective in her desperate position is a great clue to her personality…! She’d make a great heroine for a novel…

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Hey.. That’s such a nice comment! You captured her essence in that one! πŸ˜€

      Like

  5. tedstrutz says:

    She’ll make it out of this one. I liked the title… fun story… the kind you become invested in the girl and want to know what happens… and in only 100 words.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      πŸ˜€ Thank you so much! πŸ™‚ i’m glad you liked it! πŸ™‚

      Like

  6. I can see why she’d be worried!! You caught a unique point of view–from a backseat driver. πŸ™‚

    janet

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    1. Ankita says:

      Hahah.. Yeah.. Thank you for appreciating πŸ™‚

      Like

  7. yarnspinnerr says:

    A brave heart πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      πŸ™‚ Thanks πŸ™‚

      Like

  8. Funny. Here she’s kidnapped and worried if the vehicle will survive it. Nice twist.
    Shalom
    Rochelle

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Hey Rochelle, Thank you so much! πŸ™‚
      Oh yes! She’s going to be hurt either way!

      Like

  9. elappleby says:

    The last line made me laugh – what a useless kidnapper to use a car like that!

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Hahah! Absolutely! Glad i could make you laugh! πŸ™‚

      Like

  10. Joe Owens says:

    This kidnapper is a few loaves short of a baker’s dozen. He is not being inconspicuous, the kidnapped is where others can see and the “car” certainly is doubtful to make the trip.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      He seems to be new to the profession. The “car” also doesn’t seem to be made for the trade.

      Like

  11. Sunshine says:

    oh, dear…i don’t think this kidnapper is going to have much success leaving behind so much of himself. ha! love your story…wonder what will come next.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Haha! Glad you liked it! Wish I could write more!
      P.S. – I really love your name Sunshine! πŸ˜€

      Like

  12. t says:

    Hahaha – what kz said!

    Like

  13. The last line make it really awesome. Great one πŸ™‚

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thank you so much! πŸ˜€

      Like

  14. That would be worrisome to kidnapped in a car like that!

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Oh yes! She’d be hurt either way!

      Like

  15. yep, that last line is gold.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Hey thanks a ton! πŸ™‚

      Like

  16. rich says:

    excellent last line. well done.

    in this sentence, “The seats’ backside was shorn down to steel railings covered with rust which kept bumping into her as the car moved.” by using the word “which,” it means that the rust kept bumping into her. using “which” usually refers to the previous noun, right before it, which was rust. it might be better to use “and” instead.

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      Thanks! πŸ™‚
      Hmmm. You’re absolutely right! The sentence is wrong. Thank you for stopping by and showing me the correct way! πŸ™‚ It’s very nice of you. πŸ™‚

      Like

  17. Parul says:

    That’s a strong lady. She is thinking all the right things in the hour of distress. Wondering what the context could be. Reminded me of this character – Fiona in a TV series called Burn Notice

    Like

    1. Ankita says:

      I’ve never checked that series out! Must do so asap i think!

      Like

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